g'day mates!

Howdy!  So I haven't blogged in a few years, and now that my life has gotten a tiny bit more interesting, and just a little less stressful, I figured it must be time to start recording it again.  This blog isn't meant to be serious or focused in any way.  Just a place where I can babble on about all the things that really matter to me right now.  So be forewarned:  poop stories lie ahead.  There Be Monsters Here.  Also, don't expect me to be verbose and polite all the time.  Behind the well-worded exterior I try to put up, lurks a potty-mouth with a short fuse.  That means road rage rants, vents about kids and family, and as many interesting cusswords as humanly possible.  Because if I can't be crude on the internet, than really...where can I get it out of my system?

A little introduction seems in order.  My crazy life is populated by two sweet little girls, who hereafter shall be referred to by their preferred bodily functions, and The Other Half (sometimes Better, sometimes not) who does his best to keep me sane, and sometimes even succeeds!  I spend half my time trying to be Martha Stewart without the veneer of greasy businesswoman, and the other half staring brokenly at the pile of dishes on the counter reproducing like uneducated bunnies on X.  I used to be able to blame that on working full time, but ever since the arrival of the Tooty Butt (and more importantly, blessed MATERNITY LEAVE!!!), all I can say is that perfection is for chumps, and dirt is good for the soul.  Once the immutable law of Bedtime has been invoked, I've been known to scrapbook, read long novels by obscure authors about disparate subjects, and indulge my irrepressible Tetris jones.  You can expect posts about all of these interests, wether you like it or not.

Hopefully this blog will have a longer life than my previous few false starts.  But if I don't check in for a few days,  lets just say that I started this little venture on a good day, while Booger Pile is focused on new Dora episodes, and the Tooty Butt's enjoying a good snooze in her swing for once.  I foresee many days when I'm too busy bouncing between a potty-training toddler, a cluster-feeding infant, and a house that accumulates dirty laundry and dishes the way Lindsey Lohan acquires DUI convictions to stop for one more time-wasting website.  But at least you can rest assured that a good long absence will mean a few toe-curling disaster stories when I finally get back to it!

And on that foreboding note, I shall bid you good day.  After all, it's baloney-and-cheez-whiz sandwich time. Also, a set of tiny eyeballs just popped open, and my singing along with Dora from the computer desk isn't going to keep her calm for long.